Unfreakinbelievable

Daddy Dearest…

I don’t think I ever posted about it, but I stopped speaking to my father before we moved into our house. The story is sort of long and twisted, but basically, he has two dogs. He’s done nothing to care for them for years, and it disgusts me. I’ve tried repeatedly to get him to take the dogs to a shelter (no kill, of course) because both dogs are small and could live a lot longer w/ the right care. Well… both dogs were small. One of them, a chihuahua, died in April from diabetes that had gotten so out of control, she would’ve needed at least a week of treatment - which he has no money for. So he had her put down. Now, granted, the treatment may not have helped, but the vet seemed to think she could get the little dog healthy again. It was no secret Yoda had been dying. She looked awful and was losing dramatic amounts of weight (she had been over 20 pounds at one point, poor thing). She was peeing all over the house. It had been going on for six months. It broke my heart. I’d have loved to have helped her, but with our own dogs and bills, it wasn’t reasonable… so I tried, yet again, to persuade my father (before it got really bad) to let me (I’d do all the hard work) find a shelter for the two dogs. He couldn’t do that - he “loved” them too much to give them up. Yeah, loved poor Yoda to death.

I adored that little dog. There other little dog is annoying and I never bonded with him, but all the same, I wanted something better for him. He’s still a living creature who deserves better. I tried in vain, after Yoda was put down, to get them to give up the other little dog… and my stepmother freaked the fuck out on me (in the background). She cursed and told my father to hang up on me and kept screaming “who the fuck is she?” or some other such crap. I got pissed off and hung up.

Eventually, this all led to me getting really upset and angry. Why the hell should I continue to allow myself to be treated that way? My father might not mind being walked all over, but me - uh uh. Not anymore. And it pissed me off that he didn’t stick up for me, that he’s NEVER stuck up for me, with her or my first stepmother. I’d had enough. I was so upset over what had happened to Yoda, what his selfishness had cost her… and what it would inevitably cost the other little dog (who already has a mouth of rotting teeth). I was pissed off at yet another rant from my stepmother. I was disgusted by my father’s twisted definition of “love” for another creature. I called him up and told him that I didn’t want to speak to him again unless one of two things happened - either he gave the other dog up, or he finally got the balls to leave my bitch of a stepmother. I reminded him again that she’s the absolute worst thing he’s ever done to himself… and told him I was tired of him allowing the women in his life to belittle me and treat me like crap. I said, how do you think she’d take it if you talked to (my stepsister) that way? He had no answer, of course. She’d freak the fuck out, that’s how she’d take it.

Anyway… fast forward to earlier this week. My mom called. My brother was trying to get in touch with me and didn’t have my number with him. Apparently, my stepmother has finally qualified for social security disability income. She’ll get back money to when she applied, like a year ago, and then $900 a month. And guess what?

I never saw that one coming. Oh, and - she won’t tell him where she’s going.

Which means, either she’s found her ex-boyfriend online (and he wants the money) or she’s found some other pathetic loser online (and he wants the money) or she and her daughter have schemed this up all along (and her daughter wants the money - though this one I find least likely, as her daughter lives across the country for a reason and her husband makes a nice chunk of change working for a major company in aeronautics).

All I can say is, good riddance. I did try to call my father, mostly because I wanna know what he’ll say now. My one uncle has already told him he can’t help him in any way… he’s probably 3 months or more behind on rent and bills and hasn’t worked in months. He’s trying to get SS disability, too - and probably will in another year or so after an appeal (since he’s almost certain to be denied the first time). My mom said that if whomever the bitch is going to gets tired of her, she’ll probably come crawling back - and my father will probably take her back… she’s absolutely right. He’d have taken either of his other two ex-wives back. In a freakin’ heartbeat.

So… they changed their number to avoid bill collectors and I don’t have the new one. I’m not exactly sure why I’d bother to call… I thought his level of selfishness was superb, but wow… I think she’s surpassed it (did I mention she’s barely worked in the past 6 years and is a big part of why they’re so deeply screwed financially?).